Signs of a Toxic Relationship and How to Address Them

When your relationship begins to take more from your life and well-being than it provides, it's essential to recognize the signs of toxicity. Experts have identified key indicators of a toxic relationship and offer advice on how to address them if you find yourself in an unhealthy romantic situation.

1. Lack of Partnership: In a healthy relationship, partnership is crucial, encompassing mutual love, integrity, support, and growth. However, in toxic relationships, these qualities may be missing. Look out for regular unproductive arguments, jealousy, passive aggression, or blame, as they may indicate a toxic pattern.

2. Codependency: Codependent relationships can be toxic, where one person becomes the "giver" and the other the "taker." This dynamic often stems from insecurity, trauma bonding, or fear and can lead to an unhealthy and unbalanced relationship.

3. Negative Impact on Your Life: Toxic relationships can isolate you from friends, hobbies, and other aspects of your life. Gradually, you may lose focus on work, experience mood swings, and struggle with sleep. These negative effects can accumulate over time.

4. Narcissistic Behavior: Although not all toxic relationships involve narcissism, a partner's extreme self-involvement can invite toxicity. Narcissists may engage in gaslighting, manipulation, and emotional abuse, causing you to neglect your own needs.

Can You Fix a Toxic Relationship?

In some cases, a toxic relationship can be turned around if both partners are genuinely committed to changing their behaviors. However, such a shift requires consistent effort and may involve taking a substantial break to allow for healing and a reset of the dynamic.

How to Get Out of a Toxic Relationship:

If meaningful change seems unlikely or you decide it's time to move on, seeking help is essential. Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for support. Role-play conversations about ending the relationship and make plans for next steps, especially if you need to navigate shared responsibilities like children.

How to Heal from a Toxic Relationship:

Healing from a toxic relationship takes time and self-compassion. Lean on your support systems and engage in activities you're passionate about. Focus on building a life that brings meaning and fulfillment, prioritizing your own well-being.

Remember, the healing process may not be easy, but it's worth the effort. Trust that you'll be better off in the long run.

If you suspect you're in an abusive relationship, don't hesitate to seek help. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.

What’s Your Love Language? Understanding the Way You Give and Receive Love

In 1992, pastor and marriage counselor Gary Chapman published the 5 Love Languages describing the five ways he’d most often observed couples expressing their love for each other: acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, and physical touch.

The book became a bestseller, and the concept — of knowing your love language so you understand how to best connect with others — is still widely embraced over three decades later, by professionals and non-professionals alike. “When we know how we experience love and also understand the ways that our partner experiences love, it helps us create a meaningful, healthy, authentic connection,” Avigail Lev, a licensed clinical psychologist and certified mediator, told Forbes in January.

But it isn’t just romantic partners that benefit from the practice — understanding how anyone close to you, including friends and children, receives love can help cultivate deeper connection in the relationship.

Learn more about each love language below, and then take this quiz to find out yours.

Acts of Service

Picture this: It’s your turn to wash the dishes, but when you drag yourself into the kitchen after a long day, you see your partner is already drying them and putting them away. If that sort of surprise brings happiness to your heart, acts of service may be your primary love language.

“You’re giving up your time to actually do an act of kindness for somebody else,” marriage and family therapist Tiana Teague explained to Oprah Daily about acting out this love language. “I think that’s the most profound part about it.”

Words of Affirmation

One of the two most common love languages, words of affirmation is all about verbal or written expressions of appreciation and affection. Hearing things like “I love you,” “Thank you,” or “You look nice today,” means a lot to people who identify with this one.

More of an “actions speak louder than words” person yourself? Go here for 125 wonderful examples of how to engage in this love language for your loved one — including “I value your judgment,” “I’m so proud of you,” and “I love how you see the world.”

Quality Time

Quality time is all about togetherness. People who identify most with this love language deeply appreciate when those close to them present, both physically and mentally.

The emphasis is on quality, not quantity — even a 20-minute walk together or an uninterrupted conversation over dinner can mean a lot. Practicing eye contact and active listening are also great ways to make the most of your time together. Go here for more tips. 

Gifts

Perhaps the most misunderstood love language, this one really does follow the old saying “it’s the thought that counts.”

“If you or your partner’s love language is gifts, that means you feel loved [or that you’re demonstrating love] with a tangible item,” Mark Williams, a licensed mental health counselor and relationship coach, explained to Verywell Mind. “Whether that item is a tiny trinket from a thrift store or a 50-foot sailboat is inconsequential. Either convey the same message: ‘I was thinking about you when I saw this. You’re always on my mind.’”

Physical Touch

Hugs, forehead kisses, and shoulder squeezes are all examples of how people whose love language is physical touch might give or receive love.

“People who have touch as their primary love language need physical contact (touch) to feel loved,” Carolina Pataky, a licensed marriage and family therapist, told Women’s Health, adding that simply holding hands in public is one way to engage in this love language for your partner.

Darcy Sterling, a licensed clinical social worker and the creator of an online course about love and relationships, elaborated: “It can also be useful to touch them during stories and social interactions to show that you’re tuned into them.”

NEWS

What else is brewing ?

• The Bank of Japan shocked investors by tweaking the policy it’s been using to keep interest rates down even as other countries have raised theirs, suggesting that even bigger changes may be coming.

• Trader Joe’s issued its third product recall in a week, saying its Fully Cooked Falafel may contain rocks.

• Singapore hanged a woman for the first time in 19 years. The city-state went ahead with her execution for allegedly trafficking 1 ounce of heroin, despite human rights groups and the UN calling on it to end capital punishment for drug-related crimes.

• The former floor-sleeping Twitter employee went viral with her thoughts on the X rebrand.

• Markets: Stocks sailed off into the weekend on a high note yesterday, with rising tech stocks and falling inflation leading the way.

• Stock spotlight: Tupperware kept climbing yesterday, after gaining more than 300% over the past month because…well, no one’s really sure. It seems your grandma’s favorite container company has become the latest meme stock even though it warned in April that it was on the verge of bankruptcy.

ACTUALLY HELPFUL TIP

Feel like you're melting in this heat? Because our arteries lie close to the surface at our neck and wrists, applying something cold to these pulse points can help cool down the body quickly, so, drape a frozen towel around your neck or rest a cold compress on your wrists when you need to find some relief from sweltering temps.

*Best of the Week: The eight habits that could add up to 24 years to your life.

Humankind

Snoop Dogg donates $10K to 93-year-old South Carolina woman battling a developer over her property. (More)

... and Luke Combs shares heartwarming moment onstage with young fan who beat cancer. (More, w/video)

Bride enlists her 95-year-old grandfather to be a "flower grandpa" at her wedding. (More)

Three Metro employees in Washington, DC, help deliver baby on train. (More)

West Virginia community rallies to help visiting Polish marching band that lost uniforms and instruments while traveling. (More)

Colorado triplets, who were separated at birth, share how they reunited. (More)

Today’s issue is sponsored By Think Energy

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